Until Death Do Us Part...Maybe...Kinda?

Marriage is a huge deal. A lot bigger of a deal than some people realize. Way way back in the day, couples were paired together based on social status and they were wed extremely young. As time progressed people started getting married much later in life, but now it seems that we are regressing. I, for instance, got married when I was 20 and bore a son later that year. It might seem pretty young, but I was completely sure it was what I wanted. Some of the other young couples my age have not been so lucky. A good chunk of them got married just because they got pregnant and didn't just want to be an "unwed mother statistic." That's not a reason to get married. Your children will grow up thinking that is how it is suppose to be. You make a mistake and a ring cures it all. Most of the time divorce happens within a year or two. There are a lot of things to think about when you are considering those impending nuptials. You need to know before you say "I do" if you can really take those vows to heart. So often people get married because they think that them living together or being together for a long time makes them a prime canidate for marriage. This is not always the case. And you are fooling yourself to think that marriage is just a piece of paper. Things will happen in your marriage that will test you, and under normal circumstances, it might be something that stressed you out so bad you broke up, but that's something you can't do when you're married. You have to take a good look at your relationship and ask yourself if that is something you can live with for the rest of your life. If you are with someone that hasn't really been on their own before and who can't really handle confrontation or communication very well you need to reexamine if marriage is the right choice for you. Things like that, that don't seem like that big of a deal when you are dating, are paramount when you get hitched. Communication is one of the biggest parts of being married and if you don't have that, it won't be long before your union splits and you are left hurt and confused while the dust settles around you. Also, money. Good lord money will split up even the strongest of couples. It is a very ugly and difficult subject that comes up often, especially when there are children involved. For instance, when my husband and I first got together we were both broke. We decided that it was a good idea for him to join the Marines, but it took over a year for that to happen. Meanwhile we lived with his family and during this time I got pregnant with our son. My husband wasn't working any kind of steady job. Just a little under the table gig here and there. Our families came together and they are the ones who put together our wedding for us. And for all the things that were going on, we were so excited to get married. We had no idea when we were going to get our next check and no clue how long it would take him to become enlisted, but we were in wedded bliss. A couple months after our son was born, my husband got the green light and he shipped off to boot. After all the training was done, we began to see our first money problems. Neither one of us was really any good with money. We paid our bills but we also spent money we didn't have. When my husband went on his first deployment, my son and I were living in a little house on our own and I screwed up big time with the money. I paid the bills, but I spent far more than was needed. This was really bad especially since I knew we had to move to California when the hubs got back and we had to pay for it ourselves. I got my shit together before he came home and we had the money to move but it was pretty tight. We got into a very bad way for a while over that money incident. It was a pretty big blow to our marriage. We recovered from it, and we got better with money. But the point is, even the happiest couples have these problems. If our marriage had been weaker, then I have no doubt in my mind that we would not be together today. But like the good adults we were, we worked through our problems and communicated. This would be the point in the realtionship where a lot of couples would crumble and split ways. Just reading it, it may seem like it's not a big deal, but it really is. When you get in that position, you'll know what I'm talking about. Before you sign that dotted line you really have to be sure that you know what you are getting in. It may seem hard to let go of that boyfriend that you love so much, but if you don't think you can handle the ups and downs marriage has to offer you need to remember that it is a lot easier and a lot less messy to break up than it is to get divorced. Save your sanity, and make for damn sure that you can spend your life with that person. It will make your life so much easier, and personally I think the divorce rate needs a little help in coming down some.