I have to tell you, when my husband went on his first deployment I did nothing but look forward to his homecoming. I invisioned that slow-mo moment of us running into each other's arms while sappy music cued in the background and crescendoed when we fell into each other's warm embraces. Ok, so maybe not. I'm not a sap, my estrogen doesn't pump as hard as some females. But I was pretty friggin excited. I had the ideal situation in my head that we were just going to pick up where we left off. Well, who looks silly with egg on their face? This girl! It was great when he came home (although instead of cheesy music and slow-mo running he was greeted by me and my son and my best friend and her husband toting a case of PBR) but once the initial excitement wore off we were left floundering trying to get our footing in our relationship. We both changed a lot and had to get to know each other again. I'm not going to go all into that. You can read the post The Fire Is Burning...I Think. But suffice it to say, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. We took a page from Stella's book and got our groove back and everything was hunky dory until the next deployment arrived. What I really got to thinking about was, now that I have an idea of what to expect for the next homecoming, and being fully confident that we really can go back to where we left off, I decided to put more effort into making his homecoming really special. While the friends and PBR was good, I wanted to give him something he was really going to remember. I have put together a stellar homecoming gift to my husband and his cami-clad cohorts, but I can't quite say what it is for confidential reasons. (Don't worry, I will reveal it after it happens with pictures and video.) But before I lucked into this wonderful present, I did a lot of research to get some ideas. Many of them repeated themselves, but there were a couple that stuck out. So if you are a wife, fiance, girlfriend, or family member, here are a few ideas for you to ponder upon:
1. Boudior Pictures. This is one for the ladies who are really comfortable with themselves and not afraid to show a little skin. A friend of mine had these done for her hubby while he was on deployment. I thought it was an excellent idea. It's a little risque, but if you are confident enough, this is something your hubby will really enjoy. Plus, it's something he can take with him if he's sent away again.
2. A Testerone-Addled Goody Bag. This is one that is super easy and your guy will love you to pieces for it. These guys have been deprived of the little things in life for seven months (or longer depending on your branch in the military) and they want to indulge. For example, my husband's would consist of the latest Call Of Duty game, a gift card for his xbox live membership, a new cell phone, a case of his favorite beer, a big juicy steak, and a piece of lingere (for me obviously) to give him a peek of the festivities to come. Just gather a few of his favorite things and he will love it.
3. Space. Yeah, you read that right, space. I know you're thinking, he was just gone for all these months, that's the last thing I want to give him. But believe it or not, sometimes that's what he needs. Not right away, of course, he's just as eager as you are to make up for lost time, but what you have to remember is that it is a little jarring to your man to go from standing at full attention all the time to come to a grinding halt. If this is not his first deployment, then he has probably shared with you what life is like out there and he needs time to adjust to being back in civilization and in family mode, as opposed to being surrounded by his fellow troops 24/7. When my hubs came back the first time he had really bad anxiety in the beginning when he would be around a crowd of people. It a little unnerving to them at first. It will pass (if it doesn't then you need to talk to him about possible PTSD and getting the help he needs) and once it does you can get your flow back and enjoy all the couple time you can stand. So just let him shoot some zombies solo for a bit, and he'll thank you for that.
4. Homecoming Party. This is a common one, but it is certainly a good one. It is a chance for your man to mingle with his loved ones in one sitting and enjoy everybody's company. I know when we go back home for his post deployment leave it gets pretty stressful having to run around and see all the relatives at their various locations when all he really wants to do is relax. Having the party gets the initials hello's out of the way and gives your guy a day or two to relax before he makes the rounds again. Word to the wise though, if you have the luxury of having your loved ones where you are stationed, I caution you to keep the gathering limited to family instead of co-workers. They have just spent the better part of the year, day in and out, with these guys and they need a break from each other. If you don't want to exclude anybody give it a month or so before you have your gathering.
5. Save Your "Honey-Do" List. The last thing your guy wants to do upon his return is to take care of the little odds and ends around the house. Wait for him to decompress for a few weeks before you push him into that kind of thing. If you have waited this long to have something done, you can wait just a little bit longer while your hubby kicks up his feet and enjoys himself.
These are just a few ideas for you. There are tons out there, but these are some of the better ones. And if you are at a loss, or you can't afford it, don't sweat it. Your guy has been living in conditions far worse and just being home with his family is more than enough for him. And don't stress yourself out trying to make everything perfect. Just enjoy each other's company and be thankful for the time that you have together.
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