Sometimes You Just Have To Macgyver Shit

Let me paint a picture for you: You are in a department store with your screaming child. You have a cart full of shit and are ready to check out. Suddenly you smell that god awful scent and you know your kid has taken a healthy dump. No problem right? Just go to the bathroom and change them. So you drag your cart into the bathroom, completely unwilling to let it go because you don't want some over-acheiving sales associate to restock your shit the moment your hands leave the cart, and cram into the handi-capped stall to change the funk that has manifested in your kid's diaper. You pull your child out and turn around to pull down the changing table from the wall and notice there isn't one. You open the door searching for one in the open area and it is just not there. So what do you do? Well you're already in there and that shit isn't going to smell any better, so do what any normal person would do and grab a shirt from your cart to lay on the floor. You hunker down to change your kid and realize you forgot to pack diapers. Panic starts to settle in, because if you are anything like me, you have already removed the abomination from your kid's ass and thrown it away. Can't wrap them in paper towels because you know that child is going to pee right through it before you can get a real diaper on them just for spite. You begin cursing in your head that it would make more sense to have a diaper dispenser in there instead of one that sold condoms, tampons, and breath spray. Meanwhile your kid is rolling around and thrashing and has managed to get crap on this shirt you have every intention of paying for (and if you didn't, your mind is made up now). So the only option is to grab yet another shirt to act as a temporary diaper. Once all of this is done, and your kid is clean smelling with a very stylish diaper, you rush to the counter to pay for your stuff. You arrive home and unload your spoils, change your little one into an actual diaper and promptly wash your new, and quite dirty, clothes only to realize, you bought the wrong size. I'm pretty sure emergency diaper does not consitute a viable reason for return. This situation, my friends, is known as the Macgyver. Your situations may not be as dramatic, but I'm sure the parents out there have had their own Macgyver before. Whether it be using wet paper towels for wipes because you forgot to buy news ones, or using your own spit to wipe dirt off your child's face, it is most certainly a Macgyver. I may not always have the things I need at the time for me and my child, but give me a popscicle stick and some paperclips and I can get anything done.