Uncle Sam Is My Pimp

Since the name of my blog has to do with me being a Marine wife, I figured I would actually do a post that involves being married to the military. The life of a Marine wife is absolutely nothing like I expected it to be. I went into this thinking that it was going to be a lot easier than what it turned out to be. My husband has been in for two years as of January 25th and it feels like it's been so much longer than that. The little picture I had in my head was pretty much a joke. I figured my husband would go to boot camp for three months and it would be a breeze. I thought I was going to die while he was gone. Then he graduated and he had ten days before he had to report to the next leg of training, which lasted a month. He didn't get any leave after his combat training and went directly into MOS school. That time period was a little bit easier to deal with. He had weekends off so we saw each other a couple times a month and we could actually talk on the phone as opposed to writing letters like we had been for four months. He graduated from MOS in August of 2010 and we found out we were being stationed in California, which was at the complete opposite side of the country we wanted to be on. I wasn't as bummed out about going because I was used to moving and I have become accustomed to living far from my realitves. We were under the impression that the military was going to pay for that move, but we were incorrect. So my son and I stayed behind in North Carolina while my husband checked into Camp Pendleton, California. He called me the day he checked in and gave me the news that every wife dreads hearing: he was going to Afghanistan for his first deployment. I was terrified, I didn't know what to expect. I knew virtually nothing about the war except that there seemed to be a new casuality every day. I elected to stay in NC for the duration of the deployment. I was so miserable. I was depressed, and it just seemed like I would never see my husband again. It was really hard on our marriage. We had just hit our first anniversary while he was in combat training. Most of our marriage has been spent apart because of him being in the Corps. Not to mention our son was only two months old when he shipped for boot camp. When he came home from deployment in May of 2011 he was a year and a half old. Once he got back, we finally packed our stuff and moved into our home at Camp Pendleton. Little did I know that he had already received orders to deploy again. I only had him for six months before he left. Between about seven months of training, and a seven month deployment, plus another seven month tour six months later, it just took it's toll on us. Our son is now two and my husband has missed the vast majority of his life because of it. He wasn't there for him learning to sit up on his own, or to crawl, his first steps, or his first real word. Not for him coming off the bottle, or for his first birthday. I can't stress to people just how hard it is to have this life. I know exactly two people in California besides my own family. I come home as often as I can. I hate to see girls who agree to get into relationships with military men. That's all they know. I was lucky to have been married to my husband beforehand so I could compare what was normal and what was a side effect of the Corps. It's so easy to let all the stress and drama consume you in this life. I absolutely can't stand women who leave servicemen while they are deployed, or because they face the prospect of deploying and chalk it up to being too hard. I may have been naive about alot of things when it came to the military in the beginning, but I wasn't ignorant enough to think it was going to be a cake walk. Ladies, first let me say, if you are trying to pursue a relationship with a man in uniform because you think it's glamourous and you want the benefits and money, you are not only a horrible person, but you are in for a rude awakening because you can get with a manager at McDonalds that makes better money than our troops here. Second, if you are going into a relationship with a guy who rocks those dog tags, you better get it in your head right now that he might as well have PROPERTY OF US GOVERNMENT tattooed on his forehead because the military comes first. Corps, Country, Family in that order and don't forget it. With that being said, it's not all bad. It had given us a pretty good life, and has allowed my husband to take care of his family. It comes with a price though, and that must never be forgotten. If you have any doubt in your head, no matter how small, that you couldn't deal with the constant lonliness, the gut wrenching fear of seeing that uniformed car pulling up to tell you some heart breaking news, or the strength and patience it takes to get through the deployments, reconnecting, and disconnecting, and the post traumatic stress, then you need to find someone else. Don't get me wrong, it took me a while to toughen my skin, but I never thought for a second that my husband wasn't worth it. You have to be prepared for anything. And you always need to remember that you are as much in the military as your man. You may not put on that uniform, but you give him the strength to. You carry that title proud. And when you feel like you have nobody in this world, you just remember that they're are millions of people in this life with you and they are as much a part of your family now as your mom, dad, brother, and sister. I have never been more proud of my husband than I am now, and even with the fear and worry, I wouldn't change a thing because we are so much stronger for it. This ain't Army Wives, everything doesn't always work out the way you want it, but such is life. I am a damn proud wife to a United States Marine, and to me, camis, boots, and high and tights are a way better super hero uniform to me than a stinkin cape and tights any day ;)